Question re: Guest "Lurkers"

[Pyroxene]

I'm not sure why, but I think some people on this forum are quite mean and toxic in some discussions...

[bysinda]

2 hours ago, Pyroxene said:

I'm not sure why, but I think some people on this forum are quite mean and toxic in some discussions...

There are toxic and mean people everywhere!

I don't think you can find a single toxic/mean-free forum 😁

What matters that the majority is decent 

[thekillergreece]

3 hours ago, Pyroxene said:

I'm not sure why, but I think some people on this forum are quite mean and toxic in some discussions...

It's difficult at times to criticize something or point out things without being given questionable remarks in this forum.

Partly the reason why I don't comment too much here.

Edited April 29 by thekillergreece

[Max21]

53 minutes ago, thekillergreece said:

It's difficult at times to criticize something or point out things without being given questionable remarks in this forum.

Partly the reason why I don't comment too much here.

Totally agree. I really don't want to write on the forum. Often if your thoughts don't match the thoughts of other people on the forum, you are subjected to toxicity. It is forbidden to post constructive criticism and ask uncomfortable questions.

[ManicManiac]

As has often been stated:
There is no problem whatever with genuine critique... or criticism... or incongruent points of view.
It's when it gets disrespectful, insulting, hostile, etc... that's when it becomes an issue.

The problem is not the opposing points of view... the problem is really how some folks go about interacting with each other.
Simple disagreement is not toxicity, but when folks take things personally and start throwing barbs and insults at each other... that's when it goes out of bounds.

Some folks who seem to want critical conversation can also seem pretty sensitive if they themselves feel they are receiving critical feedback.
(in this context: critical - expressing or involving an analysis of the merits and faults of a work of literature, music, art, or opinions and observations of such)

I think it would be good for folks to keep in mind for everything you may not like about something... there are others who might like it (and vice versa).  Just because other's may not see it your way, doesn't mean it's an attack, toxic, or that a subject is "forbidden."

Folks don't have to agree... that's okay.
However, folks do need to be civil and respectful of each other.

Edited April 29 by ManicManiac

[twyn1]

2 hours ago, Max21 said:

Totally agree. I really don't want to write on the forum. Often if your thoughts don't match the thoughts of other people on the forum, you are subjected to toxicity. It is forbidden to post constructive criticism and ask uncomfortable questions.

Well stated... ManicManiac

As to the above quoted statement --

There is a BIG difference between constructive criticism and just plain out being critical (this often has an angry, demanding or demeaning tone). I have not seen the first "forbidden" here.

I can only recall one truly toxic person on this forum, and they seemed to have been "removed". 

One thing I have learned in my many years on forums and discussion boards -- it can be difficult to realize when someone is joking or being sarcastic in a light-hearted way (even with emoticons and j/k qualifiers), It's always best to ask for clarification, or to give the benefit of the doubt rather than assume you are being "attacked". People have different posting styles and personalities on-line, just as in Real Life, and you won't always "click" with another person because of those differences.

[hozz1235]

@Raphael van Lierop, we do appreciate your involvement in the forums!  It has brought me back to visiting more often.  I was a daily visitor for YEARS up until a few months ago.  Forum traffic seemed an all-time low and there was no news to discuss.

Regarding your response to @ajb1978: while you edited and said it was a joke, as others have said, jokes are hard to convey over this medium, and I can't help feel there was still a hint of sarcasm to it.  To alienate a long-time, active (one of the few) member, makes me sad.  If that had been said by any other member of this community, I'm sure @Leeanda, @ManicManiac and others would have spoke out.

To answer the original question:  I've been here a while so I forget my original reason for creating an account.  I do have to say, I don't create many accounts for games, so I guess that is an indication of my love for the game.

[ManicManiac]

There's no need/benefit to continue to seemingly try to provoke the matter any further...
Let's let it alone, and get back to the topic of the thread, please.

Edited April 29 by ManicManiac

[Raphael van Lierop]

Really sorry that @ajb1978 felt that I was attacking them! I could have found a gentler way to make that joke, or just not made it at all. And yes, there was sarcasm in it, which is part of humour after all. People who know me know that dry sarcasm is a big part of my humour. I also make a lot of dad jokes given the opportunity. I hope we don't have to stop making jokes or having a good time simply because it can be misunderstood? For my part, "you must be fun at parties" is not a terrible insult, it's something you say jokingly or even affectionately to someone who comes across as super straightlaced or pedantic about things, but maybe there's a language barrier thing here?

Also, the mods or anyone in the forums are welcome to report any of my posts as they wish. I'm just another forum member, after all. Now, moving on as @ManicManiac requested...

[bysinda]

3 hours ago, ManicManiac said:

As has often been stated:
There is no problem whatever with genuine critique... or criticism... or incongruent points of view.
It's when it gets disrespectful, insulting, hostile, etc... that's when it becomes an issue.

The problem is not the opposing points of view... the problem is really how some folks go about interacting with each other.
Simple disagreement is not toxicity, but when folks take things personally and start throwing barbs and insults at each other... that's when it goes out of bounds.

Some folks who seem to want critical conversation can also seem pretty sensitive if they themselves feel they are receiving critical feedback.
(in this context: critical - expressing or involving an analysis of the merits and faults of a work of literature, music, art, or opinions and observations of such)

I think it would be good for folks to keep in mind for everything you may not like about something... there are others who might like it (and vice versa).  Just because other's may not see it your way, doesn't mean it's an attack, toxic, or that a subject is "forbidden."

Folks don't have to agree... that's okay.
However, folks do need to be civil and respectful of each other.

Couldn't have said it better myself 

[Cr41g]

38 minutes ago, Raphael van Lierop said:

 And yes, there was sarcasm in it, which is part of humour after all. People who know me know that dry sarcasm is a big part of my humour.

 

I think sarcasm is the height of humour.... many would disagree, but they would be wrong

[thekillergreece]

I knew Raph's comment was a sarcasm / joke. I thought most had same thoughts, heh.

[Valuable Hunting Knife]

did someone say Dad jokes? 

 

Just had a chicken proof lawn laid down.  Really professional job.

 

 

In fact, it's impeccable.

[wild]

I joined because I sometimes do want to share stuff (either suggestions, comments on current topics, or screenshots), but the environment here, to me, is not very welcoming or friendly to new people. If other people have different opinions, that's great, it's just how I see it (like that earlier exchange).

I also hoped there was some secret, members only section that got more updates, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I usually don't even bother to log in, but did because I almost commented on that "where are the updates?" post then decided not to.

[Lohaan]

I initially joined the forums because I wanted to absorb everything Hinterland had to offer. Over time I also used the forums to find a few speedrunners interested in playing the challenges. The ALL ACTIVITY is a great function and brings me back here to check what's happening almost daily.. and I post some Screenshots from to time.

HOWEVER...

When I do a search, for example, prepper cachet locations, or Vitamin C, there are no results here. There are no in-depth guides explaining anything...or at least, nothing shows up when I do a search. And I understand that part of the mystery and appeal of the game is the mystery with no tutorials etc....but these forums are not my go-to place for TLD information and discussions. It used to be Twitter for interesting info. But I find myself a lot more active in the FB groups, Youtube, and on Reddit discussing game mechanics, looking at regional maps, consuming video media of other players' interesting gameplay, and more...

 

You're so good at giving away free stuff @Raphael van Lierop. If you want to boost my engagement, integrate my forum activities directly to my game rewards system. Is this even possible?

Advancing in forum rank could unlock special gear items. Imagine achieving the rank of "Pathfinder" and getting a unique pair of boots in your game, or reaching "Mountain Goat" rank to unlock special crampons. Just for signing up here you get a flask with the Hinterland logo.

Guaranteed to encourage more visitors to sign up and participate actively...

[DaGnome91]

Can't answer your first question @Raphael van Lierop : i hopped in and registered directlty the first time  

[hozz1235]

I love humor, jokes, "jabbing" as well, but I think there needs to be a certain level of rapport with someone before you attempt these.  Face-to-face helps with this since body language makes up to 90% of our communication.

[Quinine]

Hello, i created my account when you opened that thread Raphael, because I'm definitely a lurker ! Like others have said, i don't engage much in forums and I don't create a lot of accounts in general. But i'm willing to at least sign up for this one, because my friends tease me about the time I spend "in the snow" aka playing TLD. I've been playing for some time now and this game is one of my favorite if not my absolute favorite, and I often thought I could had my own opinion here but I always end up reading that someone has wrote exactly what I thought, and I don't feel the need to engage in conversations.

I mostly don't agree on the toxicity here ; for an online community, I'm often amused by the tone used on this forum, very precise, constructive and conflict avoiding. When the last update came out, I had a lot of fun lurking on an embryo of dispute that the two persons involved resolved themselves with haste and grace. But of course, like this general discussion indicates, there is always some negativity and anger, and problems of communication and understanding especially in writing 😅

[Lunerse]

i was not lurking long, maybe 3 days before i applied then the wait for acceptance
but this is the first forum i have joined and i will speak from that experience

lots of communities are toxic to the idea of newcomers, especially the idea of someone bringing newcomers in (like a famous youtuber plays something so more people want to try it out), they want to keep it isolated so there is always the worry of being vilified for being a newcomer

there is of course the worry of toxicity in general, whether disagreements on opinions or just states of being. for example, im a transwomen that uses the accessibility of hold for struggles cause I'm not a quick tapper. since i plan on posting videos playing the game, those things would be found out. some communities will be toxic towards those 2 traits. They might not like the idea of trans people playing their game. or they might not like people using accessibility features in a game. Now thus far this community seems chill and neutral about that. But i have no doubt that there is lurkers that have that (being hated simply for existing playing the game) as a worry.

then there is the people that don't know what they could really add. they figure that someone on the forum will already say what they will say so why bother.

there is of course the people that dont really want to chat about it and just want some information. and related to that the people that have social anxiety

those are my thoughts related to this

Edited Thursday at 09:55 PM by Lunerse

[bascolais]

on my side, I log in when I want to participate only. I look often the forum but as a guest.

I'm on internet since the 90 and I've seen many "stunning" discussion, because of misunderstandings or angry / irritated people.

sometimes,  I see it here, but rarely, which is a very good thing, meaning the forum is well moderated.

so I'm more a lurker than a participant, by personnal choice.

 

 

[Quinine]

11 hours ago, Lunerse said:

i was not lurking long, maybe 3 days before i applied then the wait for acceptance
but this is the first forum i have joined and i will speak from that experience

lots of communities are toxic to the idea of newcomers, especially the idea of someone bringing newcomers in (like a famous youtuber plays something so more people want to try it out), they want to keep it isolated so there is always the worry of being vilified for being a newcomer

there is of course the worry of toxicity in general, whether disagreements on opinions or just states of being. for example, im a transwomen that uses the accessibility of hold for struggles cause I'm not a quick tapper. since i plan on posting videos playing the game, those things would be found out. some communities will be toxic towards those 2 traits. They might not like the idea of trans people playing their game. or they might not like people using accessibility features in a game. Now thus far this community seems chill and neutral about that. But i have no doubt that there is lurkers that have that (being hated simply for existing playing the game) as a worry.

then there is the people that don't know what they could really add. they figure that someone on the forum will already say what they will say so why bother.

there is of course the people that dont really want to chat about it and just want some information. and related to that the people that have social anxiety

those are my thoughts related to this

I see the struggle, and i figure your life on internet (and obviously IRL) must be generally difficult as a transwoman. I feel and hope though that these traits are not very looked upon by the majority of TLD players. By this tranquil and slow pace, TLD is a game that attract more subtle gamers I think ? More calm and thoughful...
For the technical parts, I think my favorite TLD youtuber admited that I doesn't like the tapping against wolves. I've seen countless times on the forum people saying "meh, everybody plays the way they want, there is no wrong way if the games allows". Never saw hostility to newcommers either.

Edit : i don't want to look like I'm dismissing your fears though. I feel that all of them are valide and you might meet hostility on these. Just wanted to be reassuring and express my trust in this particular gamers community.

Edited Friday at 09:11 AM by Quinine

[PilgrimReaper]

I personally only found out about "hold for struggles" last week and switched to it immediately. I like the slow pace of the game, and the frantic tapping just isn't something for me. So yeah, no judging from me here, and certainly not about being trans 🙂

Everyone is welcome to play, and to play however they please, is how it should be, in my humble opinion.

[Leeanda]

Everybody is always welcome on here ,no matter what...   And if there's ever anything that upsets anyone then that's what htl and myself and @ManicManiac are for....    I'm also happy to listen or chat on pms if you feel more comfortable doing that .

[ManicManiac]

To my mind this is a place for people with a love for the game to be able to share and celebrate that with others.
For my part, I will do what I can to help foster a welcoming and safe place for fans of The Long Dark (and the future projects from Hinterland).

Those that come here to mistreat others or to register their contempt/disrespect for Hinterland and folks in the community... those people will likely find they will have to take their vitriol elsewhere.

I know that some of those folks sometimes cry "censorship" when they get comments removed or receive warnings about their behavior... but I think that's just people trying to use that as a shield for bad behavior.

I like to think of this place more like a nightclub.  Yes, it's open to the public... but if you don't follow the rules, you're likely to get bounced.  

Edited Friday at 11:15 AM by ManicManiac

[RossBondReturns]

It's been so long for me I'm not sure if I ever was a lurker.

I tend to join forums for things that really interest me first thing, sometimes during potential wait time after registering I will look for threads I will comment in once my submission goes through.

Interestingly enough my joining here, not long after I started playing TLD and the founding of The Long Dark Community on Facebook were nearly simultaneous.

I know this because the founder of said group reached out to me not long after I joined here to ask me if I would be one of the first Admins for that group when he founded.

So I definitely wasn't lurking anywhere after that!

I love both of these groups...my life wouldn't be the same without them.