What ending would you like to have?

[yogi]

5 minutes ago, Leeanda said:

Oh 🦌 oh🦌oh🦌!😁 What are we going to do with you?  

Best not tell me that one then! You don't want a smack on the hand already!

That reminds me, did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground?

Also, what are we going to do with me?

Edited September 25, 2021 by yogi

[Leeanda]

Just now, yogi said:

That reminds me, did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground?

No? Is it as bad as the other two?😀

[yogi]

Just now, Leeanda said:

No? Is it as bad as the other two?😀

Well, well, well...

[Leeanda]

4 minutes ago, yogi said:

Well, well, well...

Double "groan"! 😀  Seriously where are you getting these from?

[yogi]

9 minutes ago, Leeanda said:

Double "groan"! 😀  Seriously where are you getting these from?

In Episode 5, the happy ending one, Will shares the deer jokes with Astrid towards the end. Sort of an endearing silly thing. In the post post credits scene, Astrid tells the holes one. While they are digging for the pickled vegetable farm in Ep 6.

Actually, a lighter scene (in the later part of the episode) with the deer jokes could possibly work, if it fit. Say while they are standing watching some deer? A light moment? A fresh start of sorts?

You know, before the ACTUAL end... (cough, cough).

Edited September 25, 2021 by yogi

[Leeanda]

1 minute ago, yogi said:

In Episode 5, the happy ending one, Astrid shares the deer jokes with Will in one of the last scenes. Sort of an endearing silly thing. In the post post credits scene, Will tells Astrid the holes one. Which he's digging for the pickled vegetable farm in Ep 6.

Actually, a lighter scene at the end with the deer jokes could possibly work, if it fit. A fresh start of sorts. You know, before the ACTUAL end... (cough, cough).

I doubt very much that htl would put that in anywhere !This games not really a humourous one! Nice try though!🙂

[yogi]

6 minutes ago, Leeanda said:

I doubt very much that htl would put that in anywhere !This games not really a humourous one! Nice try though!🙂

That's the point!!! It's mean to be a light / affectionate moment amongst all the hard stuff that is everything else. It's a glimmer of the better times in the Wastrid? Astrill? relationship.

A endearing moment of the past and the possible future, before.............................. you know.

Edited September 25, 2021 by yogi

[Leeanda]

Just now, yogi said:

That's the point!!! It's mean to be a light moment amongst all the hard stuff that is everything else.

Well I do hope that there is a lighter side at the end! But ( and no offence) I hope the jokes are better🙂!

[yogi]

12 minutes ago, Leeanda said:

Well I do hope that there is a lighter side at the end! But ( and no offence) I hope the jokes are better🙂!

Nah. It doesn't even matter that the jokes aren't necessarily uproariously funny. They are just being playful and affectionate to each other. It's a pretty good word play though. That's a good joke.

Or they break it up. Will tell Astrid about half way through - deer with no eyes, as they are looking at a deer accidentally knock into a tree for some reason. THAT'S IT!!! Something has to trigger the deer not seeing something. Maybe the deer just barely escapes a wolf attack. He also then playfully nudges her arm.

Towards the end, during which time, Astrid has had time to think about it, she/they see a sitting deer and Astrid tells Will the eyes and legs variant. Or something related to the deer's legs and them not moving for some reason. She in response gives his arm an affectionate tap. Even if you are being kinda darker, they actually come across an attacked deer with an injured leg. Then they bandage it up and give it some... berries??

He then knows that the relationship might have a chance.

And then.......................................................... (gulp).

Edited September 25, 2021 by yogi

[Leeanda]

Just now, yogi said:

Nah. It doesn't even matter that the jokes aren't necessarily uproariously funny. They are just being playful and affectionate to each other.

Or they break it up. Will tell Astrid about half way through - deer with no eyes, as they are looking at a deer accidentally knock into a tree. THAT'S IT!!!

Towards the end, during which Astrid has had time to think about it, she/they see a sitting deer and Astrid tells Will the eyes and legs variant.

Deer into the tree? More likely to go through them! But I get your point!

Some light heartedness would be nice !

[yogi]

4 minutes ago, Leeanda said:

Deer into the tree? More likely to go through them! But I get your point!

Some light heartedness would be nice !

Yeah. That was just my first idea, which I wasn't thrilled with, but it illustrated the point. I did edit with more suggestions.

Edited September 25, 2021 by yogi

[Leeanda]

Just now, yogi said:

Yeah. That was just my first idea, which I wasn't thrilled with, but it illustrated the point. I did an edit with another suggestion.

Well I'm open to suggestions! (Game related) 😀

[yogi]

Just now, Leeanda said:

Well I'm open to suggestions! (Game related) 😀

You have no patience. You can't wait for my 47 edits before you post??

[Leeanda]

2 minutes ago, yogi said:

You have no patience. You can't wait for my 47 edits before you post??

I know I don't! Especially when my batteries are low!🙂 Still trying to beat me on the edits eh...? 

Never gonna happen!

Edited September 25, 2021 by Leeanda

[yogi]

3 minutes ago, Leeanda said:

I know I don't! Especially when my batteries are low!🙂 Still trying to beat me on the edits eh...? 

Never gonna happen!

Yeah yeah, the old "low battery" - a likely story.

Trying to beat you?

Pfft.

No need to try. Already long overtaken.

Edited September 25, 2021 by yogi

[Leeanda]

Just now, yogi said:

Yeah yeah, the old "low battery" - a likely story.

Trying to beat you?

Pfft.

No need to try. Already long overtaken.

24% left! 

How can you be anywhere near my record ? There are nowhere near that many edits on this thread! If you'd done lots on other ones I might(might!) Just be worried!🙂 

Now 20% ! It's  a cheapish notepad! 

Oops! See you later alligator!🙂 Warning light came on!

[Leeanda]

2 hours ago, yogi said:

Yeah yeah, the old "low battery" - 

Yep !   I re read your edited posts! By the way I prefer Astrill!☺ 

Then...gulp what? 

Then they what?  I have no idea😂

Edited September 25, 2021 by Leeanda

[yogi]

Ok. Here it is. @Leeanda

The Set Up (early - about a 1/3 way through). Willstrid have recently caught up in person but things are awkward. They are walking around and see an incident involving a deer and its' sight (outlined earlier).

Will: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Astrid: No idea. [Humourous but slightly awkward word play that Astrid doesn't realise she unintentionally answered].
W: How did you know?
[ice broken, but barely. Slightly too long awkward pause.]
A: I've missed you.
W: I still lo... [He either stops himself and/or she cuts him off.]
A: Let's go. We've got a lot to do.

*

[Also, maybe there is a shared stash mechanic in this game. But super simple. Should add a small interesting option for players, but not add a whole other new level of gameplay or continuous character rebuilding.]

The Middle (later)

W and A are close by to each other. Things still pleasant but a little tense underneath. W notices an injured deer and approaches it. He calls out to A. They decide to help it. Just because. A has to go off and collect lichen, mushrooms and rose hips. W stays with the deer, comforting as much as one can do with a wild animal. [Maybe W tells the deer to "be still" as if it understands. But usage of the word is not obvious to the player.] A returns with items and with some basic back and forth between the two of them, eg. "can you hold his leg?" they treat the deer as best they can. They finish. Slight awkward silence.

A: What do you call a deer with no eyes when it can't walk?
W: [doesn't know]
A: Still no idea.
W: That's pretty good.

At a later time, there may be a thing where one or both of the two come across the deer, but it's been attacked and not made it. We know this because we see the lichen bandage. Player has to whether to use the deer for survival or to bury it. Maybe or maybe not now, we see an emotional response from one or both players (built up release) that helps bring them together.

*

The End

This is now the whole beautiful sad ending that I earlier described. The one you didn't like, but would be powerful. The deeper layering has all been set up, which of course the player may not immediately realise, but should come to:

• A's unheard "I still love you" is a response to W's earlier half stated declaration.
• "Still" takes on another meaning after Will half saying it to A and the whole deer interaction.
• A being attacked echoes what happened to the deer.
• W going off to gather and care for A, recalls A gathering and preparing items for the deer.

[Leeanda]

8 hours ago, yogi said:

Ok. Here it is. @Leeanda

The Set Up (early - about a 1/3 way through). Willstrid have recently caught up in person but things are awkward. They are walking around and see an incident involving a deer and its' sight (outlined earlier).

Will: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Astrid: No idea. [Humourous but slightly awkward word play that Astrid doesn't realise she unintentionally answered].
W: How did you know?
[ice broken, but barely. Slightly too long awkward pause.]
A: I've missed you.
W: I still lo... [He either stops himself and/or she cuts him off.]
A: Let's go. We've got a lot to do.

*

[Also, maybe there is a shared stash mechanic in this game. But super simple. Should add a small interesting option for players, but not add a whole other new level of gameplay or continuous character rebuilding.]

The Middle (later)

W and A are close by to each other. Things still pleasant but a little tense underneath. W notices an injured deer and approaches it. He calls out to A. They decide to help it. Just because. A has to go off and collect lichen, mushrooms and rose hips. W stays with the deer, comforting as much as one can do with a wild animal. [Maybe W tells the deer to "be still" as if it understands. But usage of the word is not obvious to the player.] A returns with items and with some basic back and forth between the two of them, eg. "can you hold his leg?" they treat the deer as best they can. They finish. Slight awkward silence.

A: What do you call a deer with no eyes when it can't walk?
W: [doesn't know]
A: Still no idea.
W: That's pretty good.

At a later time, there may be a thing where one or both of the two come across the deer, but it's been attacked and not made it. We know this because we see the lichen bandage. Player has to whether to use the deer for survival or to bury it. Maybe or maybe not now, we see an emotional response from one or both players (built up release) that helps bring them together.

*

The End

This is now the whole beautiful sad ending that I earlier described. The one you didn't like, but would be powerful. The deeper layering has all been set up, which of course the player may not immediately realise, but should come to:

• A's unheard "I still love you" is a response to W's earlier half stated declaration.
• "Still" takes on another meaning after Will half saying it to A and the whole deer interaction.
• A being attacked echoes what happened to the deer.
• W going off to gather and care for A, recalls A gathering and preparing items for the deer.

The subtlety of the jokes  works  well! Still romantic even with sad ending! You've obviously given it quite a bit of thought!

[yogi]

36 minutes ago, Leeanda said:

The subtlety of the jokes  works  well! Still romantic even with sad ending! You've obviously given it quite a bit of thought!

Well... yes and no.

It just started coming to me over the various edits in the last few days and much of it came as or just before I was typing it. Some of it with a little reflection. What can I say, I'm such a romantic. Comedian. Storyteller. Editor.

Edited September 26, 2021 by yogi

[Leeanda]

2 minutes ago, yogi said:

Well... yes and no.

It just started coming to me over the various edits in the last few days and much of it came as or just before I was typing it. Some of it with a little reflection. What can I say, I'm such a romantic. Comedian. Storyteller. Editor.

And so modest too😀

[yogi]

9 minutes ago, Leeanda said:

And so modest too😀

Being brilliant at writing the entire Episode 5 with barely raising a sweat is quite an accomplishment. I like ideas and concepts and stuff.

Don't worry though, the rest of my existence is far more modest - it's only this one thing.

By the way, you were / are a pretty good muse / writing partner / person to bounce ideas around with.

Edited September 26, 2021 by yogi

[Leeanda]

1 hour ago, yogi said:

Being brilliant at writing the entire Episode 5 with barely raising a sweat is quite an accomplishment.

Don't worry though, the rest of my existence is far more modest - it's only this one thing.

By the way, you were / are a pretty good muse / writing partner / person to bounce ideas around with.

You should apply to work as a writer for htl!  I'm sure they'd scoop you up!   ( in my opinion )! After all episode 5 isn't out yet!  Do you write for a living?  If you don't mind me asking!?

And thank you ,I'm flattered . Never been a muse before! Do I have to dress in Grecian robes and carry a lyre?🙂

 

 

Edited September 26, 2021 by Leeanda

[yogi]

26 minutes ago, Leeanda said:

You should apply to work as a writer for htl!  I'm sure they'd scoop you up!   After all episode 5 isn't out yet!  Do you write for a living?  

And thank you ,I'm flattered . Never been a muse before! Do I have to dress in Grecian robes and carry a lyre?🙂

 

Do I write for a living? The simple answer is no but it would possibly not entirely surprise you to know that you are not the first person to make such a comment. Which is probably a sign. I do have a particular sort of "spoken" writing style that is quite interesting but can sometimes be a bit... verbose on the first take. My brain just... does stuff, but I have to know something about what I'm saying.

I do find myself though, slightly underemployed and I think the staff here read this, so... if someone wanted to send me a message, I'd be happy to chat - even a small position would be ok and I'd like to think I'm a good colleague. I take it there are direct messages here - still newish to these forums. I don't know the correct protocol for such a thing, ie. who approaches who.

You can dress with props however it is you wish.

Edited September 26, 2021 by yogi

[Leeanda]

They read everything, but they do have a vacancies page somewhere on here! Possibly at the very bottom of the pages! Can't quite remember but I have seen it! 

You can send personal messages to other posters with the little envelope on the top right of your screen! Not sure if you can do it that way with htl though! 

Just checked, tap the htl.com bottom left of page, vacancies will come up!

Edited September 26, 2021 by Leeanda