After all I´ve been through

[June]

I see it now.

After all those days in the snow. After all the fighting. After all that I have been through.

After 2 years (787 days) I thought it was enough. I thought that it wasn´t worth it. I was just staying alive.

I found my way around. I learned to hunt. I learned to keep warm. I learned to stay alive under the hardest conditions.

I kept a record of my journey at all times. Writing down what happened helped me to keep a focused mind.

But after all, it was only me. Noone was there to witness. All day and everyday I tried not to die. But if I could not share it, why did I do it?  

Was I the last person on earth, violently trying to keep alive? Was there any purpose? Why was I trying? Why didn´t I just lie down outside, waiting for the wolves?

But I see it now. There is this feeling inside me. I feel that you are still alive, Astrid. 

I will keep on fighting.

And I will find you. 

 

 

 

 

[Raphael van Lierop]

Don't let this new world break you.