True Survival -or- How to deal with the voices in my head

[Sunwolf]

We all know that true survival isn't physical (well, it is, but bear with me), it's mental.  Alone in the darkness, no one to talk to but that bear you just killed...things can turn rather grim.  There's a reason Wilson was such a valuable volleyball.

Whenever I start surviving, I almost always start hearing voices.  One particular voice, in fact.  He starts commenting on every little thing I do and I can't seem to make him stop.  Eventually it got so bad that I started talking back, letting him know just what I think of him and his commentary.  here are some of our conversations:

"Looks like I survived another night."  Yep.  No thanks to your whining.

(after something useful)"This'll come in handy."  Shut up.
(after newsprint)"That'll come in handy."  You're not even trying, are you?

"I'm not sure I can carry much more."  You're not sure of much, are you?

"Too cold to think."  Too cold to listen to you complain.

"I can barely walk with this much gear."  Then get on your knees and crawl.

"I could use this."  I REALLY don't want to know what for.

"Wonder if this is any good to eat."  Eat it.  If you die, it wasn't.

"I'll have to be more careful.  A sprained wrist could mean death out here."  Yeah, let's try to avoid walking calmly on solid level ground from now on.

"I could eat anything right about now."  Anything?  How about (censored). Could you eat (censored)?

"This could be really useful."  So could your mom.

"Something's making me feel tired."  Your attitude's making me feel tired."

"Too heavy."  Too whiney.

"Damn...gotta be more careful."  Damn...gotta be more quiet.

"I'm gonna have to leave something behind."  Yeah.  Your dignity.

"I think my stomach is eating itself."  Shut up.

"That guy that drank his own pee doesn't seem so crazy right now."  Freak.

"I need more of that."  You need to shut your pie hole.

"I might have to drop some gear."  I might have to stick a sock in your pie hole.

"All this gear is slowing me down."  You've been slow for a lot longer than you've had to deal with all this gear.

"I'm getting weaker..."  Impossible.  You can't get any weaker than you are right now.

"Can you eat trees?"  Can you shut up?

"It's getting dark out here.  Time to look for shelter."  Don't tell me what to do.  You're not my dad.

"Looks like a new day is dawning."  Thank you captain obvious.

The key here is to not take any crap off the voices.  If you do, they'll drive you crazy.  Like that time, in a drunken rage, I took my hatchet and destroyed literally everything I could possibly destroy in the PV farmhouse and then was so ashamed of my behavior that I ran off and lived in BR for the next month.  That wasn't one of my finest hours, lemme tell ya.  I could feel Jack Torrance channeling through me, urging me on.  /shudder