Crouching


IIllytch321

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A humble story about the fundamentals of playing video games and the mishaps of an unprepared buffoon:

I was camped in the gas station in the coastal townsite on Coastal Highway on around day 7. I decided to branch out in a star pattern and return to home base to gather as many materials as possible, pretty basic. Next stop was Misanthrope's Homestead (also known as my house in real life). I took note that at the angle I happened to approach there was a fishing hut to my left as I moved towards the island. After looting the cabin and making my way outside I found a blizzard has been freshly brewed just for me by devils known as programmers.

A wise person may decide to camp out in the homestead until the blizzard passes. I may not always be a wise person (perhaps this implies that I, therefore, am not a wise person by definition...whatever); I plundered my way through the wall of blinding snow...for the challenge...cuz imma beest. I thought I had a keen mind to remember that the fishing hut was to be on my right side as I returned, not realizing that, given the distance, a few degrees off during my return home would place me far off goal. After travelling for far longer than I felt I should have been travelling, I began to think something was wrong, that perhaps I thought entirely wrong and I was somehow headed out towards the thin ice. I didn't want to start changing directions due to getting more lost and was too stubborn to head back (thinking that if I walked backwards and stayed focused on the same spot that a wolf may greet me at an inopportune time, and if I turned around I may head off in a different direction altogether instead of perfectly 180 degrees around), so I crept along the ice for a gamble.

After a ridiculous amount of time (well, more precisely what I thought was a long time, I think the fear, uncertainty, and lack of vision made it a bit worse) I saw land. I remember that the way in which I came, given that I felt I overshot my base by veering too far off to the left, that I'd have to turn right on the road to get back home (I thought that if I veered right that I'd have gotten to land far sooner...). I did this, and continued on my way. It was during this trek toward what I thought was my base, that I must have accidentally pressed the crouch button. I didn't realize this, although I did notice I was walking much slower. I thought that because I was quite encumbered and that I was tired and miserable, the status effects led me to move a bit slower than normal. I continued on my way through the blizzard at a snail's pace.

A while later, I still didn't come across the words "Coastal Townsite" so I can happily veer left and return to my abandoned gas station and sort through my Halloween goodies. I continued defiantly, having strong faith that I was heading in the right direction. I got to an abandoned car. It had a rifle in it. I've never been here before. I never pass up looting cars. Where the mother#$&*^ am I? As the words "Commuter's Lament" popped up, I lamented. As I turned around to walk ever so slowly back home, as I knew where I was finally, I began to get frustrated as my pace. It took so long to go in the wrong direction. I hit the crouch key...I stood up and moved more quickly.

tl;dr

Two things:

Pay attention whether you're crouching or not.

If you poke your head out and there's a blizzard brewing, be careful if trekking long distances over homogeneous ice surfaces that all blend together and give you no way of knowing where you're going.

Know where you're headed in case of a sudden, fresh blizzard.

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