Les Miserables

[conanjaguar]

“My capacity for happiness... you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first”

Douglas Adams, A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Since my main PC is still having mysterious hardware issues, I’ve decided to go ahead and try Misery on my secondary PC… which does not have TFTFT. Thus, this will essentially be “Super Misery” because of the complete lack of the new cooking ingredients and recipes. I need something better than "Attempt" to write, so I'll be calling these runs Marvin (bonus points if you get the reference!). Like Deadman, I'll be tracking condition day by day... I have a hunch it's gonna bleed away very fast!

Marvin 1 / Day 1 / 100% Condition

I’m off at a sprint even before the game finishes saving, even before I can really see what I’m doing. This is apparently Draft Dodger’s Cabin, the same one from The Hunted, so I have a vague idea of where to go. But first things first, I gather some rose hips and check for a hacksaw. Murphy lets me have this one, it’s there!

Only now do I check my FLT and my jaw promptly drops. It is REALLY BLOODY COLD; the FLT reads -30C!!

After pausing for some mushrooms (hot tea will be needed), I dash off in the direction of the Big Red Barn, gathering more sticks along the way. I make it there freezing but intact, and discover that I am still cold inside. After grabbing the torch from the corpse that I will be joining sooner or later, the Stim from the truck, and the pack of chips from upstairs, I’m off again like a marathon runner.

Presently I arrive at Thompson’s Crossing with dangerously high frostbite risk.

I duck into the Rural Store, grab the matches from the shelf, and dash for the Community Hall and its six-burner stove. I light it up and boil water while tearing down curtains and searching everything. What’s my reward for all this? One newsprint and one pack of ketchup chips, plus some toilet water. Praise the devs, they left us that at least!

After around three hours of boiling water while snatching one-hour naps, I head to the only other “real” house in town and loot it as well. I find... a single can of pork and beans.

Wow.

I’m getting desperate for food at this point, so I head down to the river and grab the three cattails I find. There is also a frozen deer carcass, nice!

I light up a fire, pour on the fuel, and harvest it completely. I’m just finishing up when a blizzard blows out my fire. I wolf down the steaks and run back to the Community Hall for the night.

[Leeanda]

Sounds like a true challenge already...

Umm.. Hank Marvin =starvin'. ?   Cockney slang I believe😊

[ManicManiac]

I mean... given the Douglas Adams quote:
I'd say Marvin The Paranoid Android

[Original BBC Radio and TV adaptation - voiced by Stephen Moore]

(2005 Film Adaptation - voiced by Alan Rickman and notably performed by Warwick Davis)
 

Edited July 2 by ManicManiac

[conanjaguar]

@ManicManiac

Yup, that's the one! I figured it'd make a good fit because he's always miserable...

[conanjaguar]

Marvin 1 / Day 2 / 75% Condition

First things first, I need FOOD. The only other places in this godforsaken region that might have something to fill the ol’ tank are the Farmstead and Signal Hill. With that in mind, I light up the six-burner and make two cups of Reishi tea – for the warming up bonus but also for the calories. You know you’re desperate when you have to make tea to avoid starving to death!

I then set out into the brutal cold, collecting sticks on my way to the Barnhouse. Nothing much happens except that I get the first stage of Misery (Hardship and the affliction Diminished Form) and need to make another fire to avoid getting frostbite while I brew another round of teas. There go 40 of my hard-earned sticks just to raise the FLT to +4C.

When I finally get to the Barnhouse, I spot some bunnies. I light a “cold” fire to keep the torch chain going without scaring them, and then bop them both. Unfortunately, I get a bit carried away and forget my frostbite risk. The result is predictable; the pinky finger on my left hand just snaps off. No matter, I don’t expect to live much longer at this rate, but I do sprint to the Farmhouse to avoid any further damage. To add insult to injury, my torch blows out during a freak gust of wind.

It's warm inside, thank goodness. I loot the usual can of peaches, a cooking pot, and a surprising amount of clothing (two pairs of jeans, dress shirt, hoodie, down vest, two pairs of socks). What is this, Pilgrim? Unfortunately, I don’t find any hats, gloves, coffee, or sewing kits. I do have more immediate concerns, though; I need food and I need it NOW! I light up the six-burner and cook my rabbits, harvesting the guts and hides while I’m at it because why not? The resulting meal is just enough to get me through the night without taking starvation damage.

Affliction for Diminished Form in spoilers:

[ManicManiac]

[conanjaguar]

I need to slow down, my playing speed is WAY faster than my writing speed at the moment . This run ends here and my second attempt is holding strong at Day 5... I'm expecting the next affliction any day now! (Also after this I'm gonna stop tracking condition because it's a pain.)

Marvin 1 / Day 3 / 56% condition

I awake near starvation and smash open my cans of beans and peaches in a desperate (and by now futile) attempt to get Well Fed and the extra 5 kg of carry capacity to make up for Diminished Form. Crom laughs at me from his mountain; the beans lose 28% and the peaches lose 32%!!

I am almost certain that this will be this run’s last day, so I’m feeling a bit reckless. I make a hot tea and set out for Signal Hill. Of course a blizzard blows up and cuts visibility to zero just after I pass the Barnhouse. I snarl in defiance and find a cave to hole up in. I light up a fire and pour on all my wood as I make tea after tea in an attempt to keep from freezing and starving. Just when I’m about to call it quits, the blizzard lets up and it’s relatively safe to travel.

Tea in belly, I climb up the rope to the plateau… and a wolf is waiting for me at the top not ten meters away from the rope attachment point! You can guess what happens next.

2 ½ days, not bad for my first attempt. I did make a lot of rookie mistakes, especially in my route planning. Like classic Deadman, you need to be a vacuum cleaner that travels through each location exactly once, eating everything you find without backtracking.

I think for my next attempt I’ll do the same basic route in reverse; from the Farmhouse to Thompson’s Crossing and then through the mine to Coastal Highway. The coal I get from there is basically going to be the only way to keep warm without pouring 40+ sticks on a fire just to raise the temperature above freezing. If I stretch it, I can make it last a week or so at the most.

[conanjaguar]

Marvin 2 / Day 1

Yet again, I’m off at a sprint before I can even see what’s going on. There is no hacksaw this time, which is unfortunate. I decide to take a different route and follow the river to the right. It was the right choice; I managed to net about 7 cattails (at a cost in sticks) before stumbling across the Farmhouse. Before dashing in, I checked the car outside and was rewarded with a baseball cap! Ordinarily I wouldn’t even bother picking it up, but it’ll work against Misery’s brutal frostbite rates.

The loot inside the Farmhouse is poor; I find a box of crackers and some chips and that’s about it. Sighing in disappointment, I sleep a few hours and then decide that I might as well head over to Thompson’s Crossing. Sure, I will almost certainly get frostbite, but I don’t expect to live long enough for it to matter terribly much.

Sure enough, I get frostbite while wandering through the orangey-brown snowstorm! I do reach Thompson’s Crossing without running into a wolf, though, so I can count my blessings. I duck into the Community Hall, feel around in the dark for a bed, and call it a day.

[conanjaguar]

Marvin 2 / Day 2

I spend the first part of the morning looting the town. Murphy is generous with me and allows me to find an incredible THREE boxes of crackers as well as assorted other items (including a raw venison steak). In exchange for that, however, he makes the matches in the Gas Station INVISIBLE. Yes, literally invisible. I panicked for a bit but found them after a short search which also turned up a sewing kit, nice! I sprint back to the Hall and make myself two Improvised Head Wraps and a Hand Wrap to stave off any future frostbites. In the process I get Misery Stage 1.

With that done, light up the six-burner to make hot tea for the journey ahead and also cook the venison while I’m at it. I consume everything and head out into the cold. It’s -36C outside and windchill is a dangerous -12 but I really don’t have a choice. It’s the mine or bust!

I very nearly do get busted when a wolf latches on to me and follows me virtually the entire way up to the mine. I am able to walk him safely, but the winds rise to -19C! All I can do is pray that my torch won’t go out, and by some miracle it doesn’t. I made it! I celebrate by greedily snatching up 40 pieces of coal and a stim before exiting on the other side. I’m overweight but that is easily fixed by dropping most of my sticks and a few other items.

I follow the road in the dark and try to find the Watch Tower to spend the night in, but somehow I miss it. That may or not be due to my attention being distracted by my siblings who were arguing right next to me… or it may be due to the fact that I ran into (literally!) a pack of four or five wolves who hounded me (pun intended) for some time. At one point I was cresting a hill at a sprint when a wolf charged from point-blank range – and immediately ran away, yelping. I’m not sure which of us was more scared…

With the wolves behind me, I soon come across bear tracks… and their owner.He's in here somewhere if this is the right screenshot...

I pause, light a fire, and drink tea to keep warm while waiting for him to go away. After an hour or so, he does, and I am able to safely duck into the cabins below the Watch Tower and call it a day.

[ManicManiac]

[conanjaguar]

Marvin 2 / Day 3 / Part 1

It’s a full-blown blizzard outside when I check the weather, but at “only” -26C FLT it’s the warmest weather I’ve had on Misery so far! Plus, the critters will be sleeping at home, so I can safely make the trip to the Townsite.

I make it there with only minor condition loss from freezing, which I’m not too worried about. My clothes are kinda wet but it’s still warm inside the buildings that I check.

Dashing from house to house, I loot the entire Townsite. There’s the usual food between all the houses (much appreciated) and a hacksaw outside the Quonset, but no matches. I begin to worry… I’ve only got 8 left.

On a hunch, I check the house by the water to see if it’s there. It is, but the real treasure lays inside… while searching a wardrobe, I find a Simple Parka AND a Windbreaker.Add that to the Thin Wool Sweater on the bed and I’ve boosted my clothing warmth bonus by around 3C!

 

[conanjaguar]

Marvin 2 / Day 3 / Part 2

(It took a bit before I could get all my screenshots ready, so that's why today is split in two)

My next goal is the islands: Misanthrope’s and Jackrabbit. I light up the fireplace, down two hot teas and set out.

Of course, the bear is on the ice near Misanthrope’s. I give him a wide berth and check a fishing hut for matches!
Then I stop for a while to bop bunnies near the tiny islet as a snowstorm approaches. I recorded it too, so you can admire my epic bunny bopping skills .

 

 

I get them both after some chasing them down and head up to the house. Then… about halfway there, I hear the unmistakable BARK BARK BARK of a charging wolf. To make things worse, it’s way too windy to light a torch. All I can do is run for it – which I do. I make it to the door just inches away from death and slam it in the wolf’s face.

That was way too close. I search the house and find a rancid rainbow trout, matches, a lantern, and another Simple Parka! I spend a while repairing it because I failed about four times.

I then harvest my rabbits and have a decision to make. It’s not smart to carry raw meat around and there’s no way to cook it in here… so I wolf it all down raw and (predictably) get food poisoning. I take antibiotics and sleep for 10 hours. When I wake up, I get Well Fed!

There is yet more to be done this day, though… in the dark and snow I decide to go ahead and head for Jackrabbit Island as well. Fortune favors the bold and I make it there safely.

[FaT McMarlin]

Have you tried going to the plane crash first? I know you get really cold doing it but on both my attempts so far I've found extra underlayer, hats and coats. Sadly, I've never had the luck to get gloves, but I have been able to find those at the farm right after I loot the crash. They aren't in the best condition but I've been fully protected against frostbite and warm in most locations within the first few hours. A little repair work and they are good to suffer a bit of condition damage. 

Also, how many attempts have you made and what's your record for days survived?

Best of luck in the next few days going through the rest of CH.

[conanjaguar]

@FaT McMarlin

I haven't tried the plane crash yet; it doesn't mesh well with my usual travel. I guess I could try it for my next attempt and see how it goes!

I'm still on my second attempt, going strong at 8 days! I got Rheumatic Joints as my second affliction so that sucks .

[conanjaguar]

Marvin 2 / Day 4

I awake in the early afternoon and head down to the ice. Opportunity beckons; a wolf and several deer are around. The Hotzn Way calls! I get the wolf to follow me and sneak around the group of deer to get them between the wolf and myself.

Nature does the work from there; the wolf takes down a doe fairly close to the fishing hut.

 

I chase him away and light up a fire to begin harvesting.

Just 6.6 kg, kinda scrawny, but I take it all as well as the hide and guts for good measure. By the time I’m done, it’s windy, pitch dark, and visibility is near zero. I gulp. Now I’m in for it.

I fumble around in the dark for what seems like hours with a wolf on my tail as the winds inexorably continue to rise. Somehow I make it back to Jackrabbit Island alive, if half-frozen!

[Leeanda]

Not much of a tip ,but it works for me when I'm harvesting in pv,or blizzard town lol... But when I start harvesting I always face the direction I'm planning on going  when I'm done ..   it does help if it gets dark or a blizzard shows up.. you can just walk straight ahead then..

Edited July 16 by Leeanda

[ManicManiac]

Well done...

On 7/15/2024 at 7:33 PM, conanjaguar said:

I then harvest my rabbits and have a decision to make. It’s not smart to carry raw meat around and there’s no way to cook it in here… so I wolf it all down raw and (predictably) get food poisoning. I take antibiotics and sleep for 10 hours. When I wake up, I get Well Fed!

Also, some excellent strategic risk assessment.  

Edited July 17 by ManicManiac

[conanjaguar]

23 hours ago, Leeanda said:

Not much of a tip ,but it works for me when I'm harvesting in pv,or blizzard town lol... But when I start harvesting I always face the direction I'm planning on going  when I'm done ..   it does help if it gets dark or a blizzard shows up.. you can just walk straight ahead then..

Y'know, that's actually a really good idea! I'll keep it in mind .

[Leeanda]

4 minutes ago, conanjaguar said:

Y'know, that's actually a really good idea! I'll keep it in mind .

As long as they don't change the mechanics lol..  but it's worked so far

[conanjaguar]

On 7/17/2024 at 8:06 PM, conanjaguar said:

Marvin 2 / Day 5

(There we go, easy fix to my picture problem without rewriting the entire post )

***

I munch some venison, sprint across the ice to the Fishing Camp and loot it… or rather, don’t loot it; there isn’t a single item to be found. I snatch an hour of sleep to warm up and head back out with the goal of making it to Rabbit Grove.

 

Just past that burnt cabin on the hill, the bear himself notices me. I manage to lose him and continue on my way up the creek, gathering cattails and mushrooms. Burdock tempts me at least twice, but sadly I don’t have a prybar so they’re off limits. Pity, I could use the extra calories. Anyway, from there, it’s just a short hike up to Rabbit Grove, where I nap a bit before heading up to the trailer at the log dump.

I repair my clothes as much as I can, eat more venison, and sleep… and pray that I don’t get Frigid Bones. If I do, I will probably freeze to death in my sleep, since it’s only +7C in the trailer. Basically it’s Russian Roulette...

[conanjaguar]

On 7/20/2024 at 6:40 PM, conanjaguar said:

Marvin 2 / Day 6

I get the second stage of Misery (Sorrow) and the affliction (Rheumatic Joints) when I wake up. Today is just hiking; I cross the Ravine and sleep in the trailers by the Dam. Pretty screenie from the Ravine:

Rheumatic Joints data in spoilers:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

[conanjaguar]

Marvin 2 / Day 7

As I munch the last bit of venison, and some cattails I debate whether or not I should do into the Dam. That place is a major time sink, but it just might have a hammer. Or a can opener, which I want for the growing stock of canned food I’m lugging around. No, I decide, best to push on as far as I can while I still have some food left.

So I set out into the snow and immediately confirm that Rheumatic Bones SUCKS!!! Running is about the same speed as a very encumbered walk, so I drearily plod all the way to the Camp Office. At times like these I wish I had enabled autowalk, but I get distracted way too easily.

 Rusty follows me and tries to sell me some kind of mustard plasters, but I ignore him and keep on walking. I just barely beat him to the Office. I wave a rock at him, duck inside, and search the place. I find no mag lens and no bedroll, but I do find a pair of work gloves, a cooking pot, and some water purification tablets that I immediately put to use by boiling 4L of water.

After this, I take a short nap… and wake up to an aurora. I head outside for a quick snap before going back inside and repairing my clothes before sleeping some more.When I wake up this time, the aurora is gone and visibility is good. After a bit of debate, I decide to go for Trapper’s.

The walk is uneventful for the most part. I stop off at the Deadfall Area to gather some ‘shrooms and ‘hips, then run into a bear. Of course he’s going the way I want to go, of bloody course he is. I have to sneak behind him until the distance is open enough, then hobble-sprint the rest of the way to Trapper’s.

I light up the stove and brew tea (getting Cooking Level 2, about bloody time!) while I loot the place. I find some much-welcome food and a thin wool sweater in the safe, but most importantly, the hammer is here! With the heap of coal I’m lugging around, forging is now a viable option that I plan to go for tomorrow, if the weather allows it.

[conanjaguar]

Marvin 2 / Day 8

The weather does not allow it. I spend time repairing my clothes, breaking furniture, and bopping bunnies out back. I have to be careful because the bear is hanging around that area for some reason.

[ManicManiac]

[conanjaguar]

Marvin 2 / Day 9

The weather in the morning is nasty but soon calms down to a medium fog and a temperature of “only” -30C. Of course, the bear is out in the front… for the third time in a row, intentionally hanging out where I want to go. So of course I have to sneak behind him because I can’t sprint away from him if he gets aggroed.

That big fluffy freight train of hate & hunger does come in handy, though… he scares a deer straight into the waiting jaws of a wolf! Speaking of hunger, I could do with a square meal. It’s risky, but I’m game. After a bit more sneaking behind the bear, I chase the wolf away and harvest 7 kg of meat right under the bear’s nose, cooking and eating about half of it on the spot. I don’t dare take any with me because wolves will be all over me.

After I make two teas for the road, I head out for the Muskeg. The trek is slow but uneventful, and FLT has risen to a balmy -13C by the time I get there! I make for Poacher’s, picking cattails along the way and keeping an eye out for the bear.

Looting Poacher’s gives me the usual flare, some coal, and a pack of matches! I light up the fire barrel to warm up and make tea and head out into the cold. Guess who’s RIGHT THERE.Yes, the bear. Again. Rrrgh. Oh so slowly, I follow in his footsteps (because of course he’s going the way I want to go), picking cattails and the odd rosehip bush. When he’s finally far away enough to make a break for it, I get back on track… and almost immediately run into a pack of FIVE wolves on the island-hopping path to Spence’s. It’s an intense battle, but I manage to break free and head up the slope to the Bunker, getting the obligatory sprain in the process. It’s empty for the 56^th time. Was I hallucinating that one time I actually found loot in there?

Grumbling, I goat-sprint down to Spences, pick some mushrooms, light up the forge, and… in the immortal words of the meme: “It was here that he realized… he’d f***ed up.” I was going to make some BBT to heal back up a bit, but I left my cans back at Trapper’s! And guess who hasn’t found a can opener yet?! Rrrrgh. At least I found me some new shoes...

When I’m done with my nap, I forge until the sun rises: I made 12 arrowheads and 2 improvised knives. A hatchet is gonna be pretty much useless because I plan on *always* having a hacksaw and if a wolf gets me, odds are I’m dead anyway.