DerpyLemon115

Funny Moments

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So anyone got any funny fails or moments they would like to share?

Here is one I got:

So there is a blizzard going on and I take shelter in a cave. I try to set up a fire I fail at starting it (with a 75 percent chance) 5 times in a row. Eventually I said "Screw it, I'm using the lantern fuel!"

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Got attacked by a bear quite some time ago. After letting him molest me I wanted to pick up accelerant he knocked off me. Still had a stone equipped, missed the click and threw the stone into the ground ..... which prompted the bear to turn right back around and repeat his usual procedure. No need to explain how that one ended.

Another rather humorous incident occurred fairly recently when I was hunting deer and my son came in while I was aiming with a bow. He pulled my arm in his usual "omg daddy I need to show you this super special thing" and I released the arrow going super wide (like 180 degrees wide), pressing ESC and investigate his newest Lego creation. When I come back I'm like "dammit, arrow lost". Minutes later I find a dead wolf with an arrow sticking out of his neck not far away. I literally shot him by accident with a stray arrow while being on the prowl. I wasn't even aware of him.

 

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Well yesterday I found a grape and summit soda merged into the side of this metal barrel, it gave me a chuckle. Thankfully I was still able to successfully grab the sodas. 

I also encountered a recent glitch thingy where for a short while when I tried to pick up Rose hips, it kept showing my red and white socks stretched out behind the rose hips. 

Edit: Another funny glitch I ran into is when the cabinet doors appear below the cabinet, you can still open them and there's just air behind them. 

Glitches are funny. 

Edited by kristaok
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I got stomped by a moose because of mapping.

Didn't notice he was there before I started sketching, then watched him charge me at high speed accelerated time during the mapping process, and as soon as I finished he was on top of me. 

Picked myself up afterwards, bandaged and checked damage, then looked around to see where he'd gone. He was standing with his back to me about ten yards away! So naturally I shot him in the arse with my rifle, more out of anger than anything else. 

He seemed to take exception to this, and turned to charge me again, but I managed to reload just in time to shoot him point blank in the face, bringing him to a collapsed halt right in front of me. 

Was my first moose kill! And probably the most hamfisted technique possible. Can imagine an experienced hunter watching the scene unfold from a distance being fairly bemused, if not amused by it. 

Edited by Pillock
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3 hours ago, Pillock said:

I got stomped by a moose because of mapping.

Didn't notice he was there before I started sketching, then watched him charge me at high speed accelerated time during the mapping process, and as soon as I finished he was on top of me. 

Picked myself up afterwards, bandaged and checked damage, then looked around to see where he'd gone. He was standing with his back to me about ten yards away! So naturally I shot him in the arse with my rifle, more out of anger than anything else. 

He seemed to take exception to this, and turned to charge me again, but I managed to reload just in time to shoot him point blank in the face, bringing him to a collapsed halt right in front of me. 

Was my first moose kill! And probably the most hamfisted technique possible. Can imagine an experienced hunter watching the scene unfold from a distance being fairly bemused, if not amused by it. 

Thanks for the good chuckle about the part where you shot the Moose in the arse. 

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Ankle sprain, plus wrist sprain. No painkillers available, so I laboriously reach the Draft Dodger's Cabin, where I lay down to rest. I wanted both sprains to heal, so I sleep a lot. I wake up, horribly hungry. I don't have that much food with me at the moment, but some condensed milk and this tin of sardines should give me enough calories for a while. I get food poisoning from the sardines. They were at 47% condition. ¬¬ So… more bed time. :D

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21 hours ago, Morrick said:

I get food poisoning from the sardines. They were at 47% condition.

Well, being called “Last Resort” you were hinted in advance. ;) That’s a fine piece of honest branding!

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6 hours ago, Senauer said:

Well, being called “Last Resort” you were hinted in advance. ;) That’s a fine piece of honest branding!

Smelly fish in little pieces - this is your Last Resort!

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Ok so I got a new one.

I was in the carter dam and just as I started walking over some wires the aurora kicks in and I get a nice electric shock that nearly killed me.  

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16 hours ago, DerpyLemon115 said:

Ok so I got a new one.

I was in the carter dam and just as I started walking over some wires the aurora kicks in and I get a nice electric shock that nearly killed me.  

I got killed like that once. I was in the middle of breaking down a crate in the Maintenance Shed when the aurora started, and I must have been standing on a cable. Zap... Dead. 

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On 1/25/2019 at 10:17 AM, Pillock said:

I got killed like that once. I was in the middle of breaking down a crate in the Maintenance Shed when the aurora started, and I must have been standing on a cable. Zap... Dead. 

In the dark, I placed my bedroll on some wires...I didn't wake up.

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On 1/24/2019 at 7:05 PM, DerpyLemon115 said:

Ok so I got a new one.

I was in the carter dam and just as I started walking over some wires the aurora kicks in and I get a nice electric shock that nearly killed me.  

Dude, this is how I died for the very first time in Story Mode.

During the first Aurora, when I was in the machine shop (the actual name of that location has slipped my mind), I was up just looking around at the Aurora and stuff, and I went into the large back room. I see some live wires on the floor, sparking like mad. I say to myself, out loud, in real life, "I wonder if these live wires are like, dangerous."

Let's find out.

Without hesitating, I swagger my idiot self right onto a pile of them.

"SEVERE BURNS"

"You faded into the long dark."

Out of all the ways to die . . .

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One time I was wandering around in Forlorn Muskeg with my rifle in hand in case I needed to scare off any annoying beasties, because I do that. I either always have a flare or the flare gun in my hand, but I had over 60 rounds in my rifle so I thought what the heck, don't want to waste any precious flare shells.

So I'm walking down the hill from one of the signal towers, and I see a wolf way ahead of me. He hasn't seen me, but he's right in the middle of the only way down the hill. So I figure I'll creep a little closer, fire the rifle in his general direction, send him running, and be on my merry way.

Keep in mind, up until this point, I had never successfully shot a wolf. Ever. I am a horrible shot. I couldn't hit the broad side of the Hibernia Processing Plant.

So I sneak slightly closer to the wolf, though I'm probably about as close to him as the Camp Office is to the shore of Mystery Lake. I crouch, aim the rifle in his general direction, and fire without a second thought.

Imagine my surprise when I see blood splatter from yards away and he keels over right there.

I freaking sniped him in one shot.

And that's how I became an Avenger.

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First time I thought I'd take on a wolf with a rifle, as it charged, I discovered that guns need loading.

First Outerloper run, about 8(?) days in I'm climbing the rope from PV into TWM. I rest on the ledge. Looking at the rope. My 5year old interups. Pause the game. Minutes later. Unpause. Looking at the rope. Oh I must be on it. Press forward to climb. Falling... falling....  The best bit: a wolf was tailing me when I reach the rope and thought 'see you later loser!'. Guess who had the last laugh :D

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The first time I met a moose, I didn't realize that they are quite dangerous in the game so I walked a little closer because I thought its head shaking was quite engaging.  I probably should not be allowed out alone under any circumstances.   I was promptly stomped into dust of course.  I woke up, amazed that I had actually woken up  (was playing on an easier level) and was then attacked by a pack of wolves. Nature had spoken.  

 

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