Hapless Rescue: My Challenge Attempts

[CoffeePilferer]

Hi folks.

What follows are the chronicles of my Hopeless Rescue attempts. I hope they make for amusing reading. I’ll stick to one post for each attempt or this will be too lengthy to read. Plus I'll space them out a bit in case my grisly deaths don't sufficiently entertain you.

Operation Ineptitude of the Ringbearer: First attempt

This expedition was full of blundering, bad planning and a complete lack of direction. In my arrogance I suspect I wasn’t taking things that seriously… I mean how hard could it be? It’s a game it can be beaten, no problem at all. Funnily enough it was surprisingly hard, especially when you don’t even know the way to the Timberwolf region. How I wished that I had a wise council to guide me, gave me companions to take the brunt of the dangers and actually show me a map first.  In a different fantasy themed game I might have asked a passing moose for directions when I got confused, “Excuse me kind sir, that’s a marvellous set of antlers you’ve got, but is this the way to Timberwolf Mountain?” To which he might have responded “Nope this is Coastal Highway, you damn tourist”, before then charging me and breaking my ribs as moose do, reminding me that the game I'm really playing has deadly consequences. Given that magical moose purely exist in the mind of the delusional, starving and frostbitten adventurer who has seriously lost their way in the Canadian wilderness, it’s fair to say that I was completely doomed from the beginning.

Now in fairness I got as far as Timberwolf, which is something I guess even though I did it in a very roundabout way. I pushed myself to the summit but took far too many risks. In addition I couldn’t resist the lure of all the shiny stuff and I collected as much loot as I could get my grubby torn mittens on. Every step of the way I became beckoned by a new and shiny token left by the roadside.  A box of matches you say… a can of soda… even just a stick would become an interesting distraction to stuff into my pack. Yet all this takes time, weighs down my pack and increases risk, so why on earth was I even picking up these things? To seriously misquote Boromir who also ended badly, “It is a stupid fate indeed to suffer so much wasted time, encumbrance and misdirection over such small and worthless things". I was clearly out of my tree on this trip playing random sightseer on a nature ramble and boy did I pay for it!

As a new player I certainly found the layout of Timberwolf Mountain very confusing. Like Mordor one does not simply wander around Timberwolf blind. It's jagged peak is guarded by more than just wolves, the very air chills the blood and flays skin from bones in minutes, and all around is empty frozen wilderness. Not with 10000 MRE's can a witless fool accomplish anything... it would be folly. When you're lost in the dark ,there is no help there... just pain and death... well apart from one cabin with a roof that is in desperate need of a joiner. I got hypothermia as a reward for my lack of knowledge and then frostbite too, all because I dithered at the summit.

When I got down things got much worse… I was promptly mauled by a bear who in response to my sheer hubris thinking I could even complete this challenge decided to reward my ineptitude by not killing me… no that would be too easy… too quick.  Instead this generous bear prolonged my suffering and left me within an inch of my life. I bandaged myself up and yet again went the wrong way in my delirium. As a word of warning folks, don’t try to cross a log over a deep ravine while suffering from frostbite and blood loss because you’ll stagger around like the town drunk and slip off that log into the oblivion of the long dark, just like this foolish traveller did. At least when Gandalf fell off the bridge he did it in style and was buying  time for his friends… I on the other hand felt like an ass!

[BareSkin]

I think you should tell us if you want to receive help or not: the urge to give tips is usually unstoppable on the forums

[CoffeePilferer]

1 hour ago, BareSkin said:

I think you should tell us if you want to receive help or not: the urge to give tips is usually unstoppable on the forums

I'm sure.  Perhaps if this was any other game I'm sure at some point I'd definitely ask for it and I do certainly appreciate you offering, but I seem to learn more by screwing up, at least that way it completely sinks in. The first run was definitely bad but I think posting the different entries will show that I learnt things from my failures over time, so perhaps that's helpful to rookies like me who get frustrated when this challenge goes totally wrong for them.

[BareSkin]

I totally agree, I did the exact same thing for Interloper: posting newbie adventure and asking people not to help. I'm pretty sure many people will read your thread, the first times definitely occur only once, and the beauty of this game is to discover things by yourself. That's actually how Hinterland intends you to play this game. Took me 3 real-life days to figure out how to cook meat in the beginning of Wintermute  .

[CoffeePilferer]

@BareSkin Thanks mate. The cooking for me was pretty straightforward because I only bought it this year on sale and finally got playing about 2 weeks ago.  I was very mindful of comments I'd read saying how easy it was to accidentally eat uncooked meat so for days I was constantly checking to make sure I was only placing food. I guess if you've been playing this game since the beginning certain changes might be awkward to adjust to. I first saw TLD years ago when I lived in a different town because a friend showed me the early access and introduced me firsthand to Fluffy. I remember wood gathering was menu based and there were only three regions then. Also everything was really grey in colour and you'd completely miss containers which literally blended with the snow. 

[CoffeePilferer]

So on to attempts 2 and 3 which are really short but just prove that when you're new to TLD things spiral out of control quickly.

Operation Drunken Frozen Popsicle with Lemon: Second Attempt

This expedition started well and involved far less blundering than the previous attempt. The weather was clear and thankfully blizzard free until Pleasant Valley. Luckily the weather only changed when I reached the abandoned Prepper’s bunker. I stayed for a couple of hours not wanting to go to TM in a blizzard.

I still made good time to the mountain and reached the summit by the morning of day 2. This time I only took much needed clothing and the distress pistol from the plane. Sadly the weather changed and grew foggy. Visibility was an absolute nightmare and I got angry with myself after going off in some random direction after climbing down a few of the ropes. 

Having got lost again and finding myself frustrated, my awareness became lacking and I was promptly wolf savaged. I think it might have smelt the chocolates in my pocket. Does the big bad wolf like candy? Apparently not, especially when better more succulent juicy treats are on offer. I fought it off but it came back, dogging me like a bad smell and then attacked me again sensing my weakness. I had a bandage but nothing to deal with infection. I knew this run was over so I made a fire and hoped to die in my sleep… it was not to be. I woke up freezing and wandering around, my vision all blurry and it seemed like my character had been taking far too many swigs from their super-secret hip flask.

What was extremely trippy was the closer I tried to get to the campfire the further away my character ended up, which was both hilarious and tragically pitiful. A couple of minutes of playing the wander around the campfire party trick and listening to Jennifer curse and whimper, I fell into the snow and darkness took me.

Operation Misplaced Arrogance: Third attempt

At this point while I was loving this challenge it was seriously starting to annoy me and I started to consider that I didn’t have enough experience to complete it. But I’m one of these people who doesn’t like to give up and will keep putting myself through an ordeal over and over again. Sadly the weather didn’t want to play ball and was horrific the entire way to Timberwolf, and since I’m still new to the maps it was easy to get lost. Especially when once more dealing with blizzards or freezing fog.

Frustration leads to anger and that leads to more problems in this game… you end up doing crazy reckless things. It’s fair to say many mistakes were made so I told myself in future I need to keep a level head. Thankfully I discovered the value of coffee on this trip and figured out how much I could push myself. I made the summit without issues but the weather remained terrible.

I actually managed to get back to Pleasant Valley this time which no surprise was blizzard central yet again. I think I was nearly at the derelict cabins and I must have got cocky because a wolf jumped me and ended my trip. Another failure but positive considering I was getting further with each attempt.

[tulkawen]

And another +1 for LotR reference. This was funny.

[Goodzilla]

I love this challenge as well. Sure you will make it soon.