I need a Still

[Khan_Drichthyes]

Tongue in cheek post in,

5,

4,

3,

Boop,

...

Yes, friends, what we all need on Bear Island is our own handy, dandy still!  Let's face it, you're all alone on this rock.  All of your potential companions are either corpse-sicles or deactivated synths who turn off your radios when you're not looking during every Aurora!  (Or was it aurora gnomes?)  How else are you to keep your sanity in these stressful times!?

The solution to these problems lies within the elixer you produce in your very own Still!

Oh, but don't think it's only good for consumption!  No, no!  With a little ingenuity, you can develop virtually a million in one uses for this fiery liquid!

Need more entertainment than just getting blind, staggering, stinking, falling down drunk?  Fill lengths of uncured guts with it, tie off both ends, and leave them out for the wolves!  Endless laughter is yours, as you see them frolic in the throes of inebriation!

Want to defend your rightful territory and show all manner of beast who's boss?  One lit torch and a mouthful of high proof combustion will transform you into a virtual fire breathing dragon!  As an added bonus, no longer will you be plagued by unsightly nose hairs!  -Just be careful not to singe your eyebrows off!

But, don't just take MY word for it!  See here, the many testimonials of our happy customers and THEIR uses for this Mana from the Copper Kettle!

 

Psst!  That's your cue to add something.

[Ice Hole]

The image of a fire breathing Will Mackenzie is vivid in my imagination.

 

Beardo Flambé

[Khan_Drichthyes]

As you can see, folks, there's no danger of getting frostbite here!  

But, wait, there's more!

With a liberal application of cooking grease on your scalp, you'll never need another togue or hat again, as the flames move up to keep your whole head warm!